Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Day One

I'll consider this my first official day as a blogger since yesterday's beginning was a bit of a spur of the moment kind of thing. And it was a pretty good day. I'm tired as all get out, but that's to be expected with a 2.5 month old.

The main reason I'm relatively pleased with the day was because I got out and did stuff. Sounds silly, but that trip to the coffee shop and the super market is about as much as I ever get up to anymore. MS makes it hard to do stuff so you become more isolated. You become more isolated and, in turn, become more reluctant to do stuff.

It sucks!

But getting out today and thinking about writing here as doing something in itself got me thinking. I'd like to use writing here as an excuse to do things, many things. Not sure which things yet, but it's clear I need some sort of motivation to make more use of my fuzzy head and quasi-atrophied limbs.

Brain storming and a list to follow.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

An abbreviated introduction

I am Aitch. I am a sometimes historian, infrequent traveler, lazy writer, wife, new mother and Multiple Sclerosis sufferer. I chose the name of this blog because of my predilection for 20th Century European History, as well as pretty things.

There's just something about seeing a book review about some obscure cadre of French communists in the 60s, or a picture of a divine piece of designer jewelry or clothing that I'd neither have the money nor inclination to buy, that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. I get the same sort of feeling from constructing a well-written sentence(a rare occurrence) or thinking about my favorite route from Old Town Square to Charles Bridge in Prague. The aggregate of all of the above is how I earned the nickname "History Girl" from my husband, it is also sure to result in much embarrassment from my son. Much like my dad's love of jazz or my mother's armchair feminism was for me.

Then there's my disease. Because my mom has the misfortune of having it as well, I was quite familiar with MS when I was diagnosed in 2003. I had just moved to London when I became suspicious of my symptoms, and was visiting France when, being completely hobbled by a relapse, I knew something was wrong with me.

Prednisone fixed me then. I've since learned that most people with MS show no signs of being ill. I've also learned that I am not one of them. All of the aforementioned things that I love, not to mention my family and friends, are altered and informed by the fact that I am in a constant state of seeming inebriation.

When I was first diagnosed I powered through and lived my life as loudly and as stubbornly as ever. The last few years, however, have seen me give in to some of the worst traits MS sufferers, or people with any disease really, can adopt. I've become frustrated and isolated. I have the most amazing husband in the world and just gave birth to the sweetest baby ever, but I'm terribly lonely and prone to feeling boring and useless.

But that ends now. I will use this blog to attempt to document my move back into the land of the living. I'm not sure how yet, but I'll work on it.

Again, I am Aitch. This is my first blog post ever.