Do you remember those mornings in high school when it all went wrong? Like not real world, starving children wrong, but Molly Ringwald wrong? The kind where the boy you like holds hands with another girl, you get a bad grade on a test then your bestie abandons you to have lunch with somebody else. This morning was one of those mornings.
After signing The Boy in at school I found him with two other boys. My love was showing one of his teddy bears to the boys and one of the boys said, 'I don't like that bear. His paws are scary.'
The Boy responded sweetly, 'but he's a really nice bear. He's just waving.' But the other boys seemed unconvinced. My heart hurt a little. I wanted those boys to accept The Boy and his bear and hoped desperately that his feelings weren't hurt.
Not wanting to embarrass him by hovering, I turned and left. As I headed out I saw two moms, one of whom I've spoken two several times before, having a chat. They'd been chatting when The Boy and I arrived too. No big deal, right? But coming on the heals of the mean boys being mean to The Boy, I just felt. like I was an invisible teenager again.
And just like in high school I wanted to come home, cry into my pillow and tell my cat how much I was hurting. I didn't, but this still sucks. I hate that my already shaky confidence is made even shakier by the fact that I'm disabled. I hate that the normal growing up and getting out into the world stuff The Boy is going through has to be experienced, by both of us, with me being the weird mom that no one wants to talk to.
I feel blue.
