Do you remember those mornings in high school when it all went wrong? Like not real world, starving children wrong, but Molly Ringwald wrong? The kind where the boy you like holds hands with another girl, you get a bad grade on a test then your bestie abandons you to have lunch with somebody else. This morning was one of those mornings.
After signing The Boy in at school I found him with two other boys. My love was showing one of his teddy bears to the boys and one of the boys said, 'I don't like that bear. His paws are scary.'
The Boy responded sweetly, 'but he's a really nice bear. He's just waving.' But the other boys seemed unconvinced. My heart hurt a little. I wanted those boys to accept The Boy and his bear and hoped desperately that his feelings weren't hurt.
Not wanting to embarrass him by hovering, I turned and left. As I headed out I saw two moms, one of whom I've spoken two several times before, having a chat. They'd been chatting when The Boy and I arrived too. No big deal, right? But coming on the heals of the mean boys being mean to The Boy, I just felt. like I was an invisible teenager again.
And just like in high school I wanted to come home, cry into my pillow and tell my cat how much I was hurting. I didn't, but this still sucks. I hate that my already shaky confidence is made even shakier by the fact that I'm disabled. I hate that the normal growing up and getting out into the world stuff The Boy is going through has to be experienced, by both of us, with me being the weird mom that no one wants to talk to.
I feel blue.
Showing posts with label MS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MS. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Monday, October 3, 2011
2 Years Old and Already a Do-Gooder
My mom hosted her annual BikeMS fundraiser 2 weekends ago. She's been hosting 2 fundraisers a year for years; a Spring one for The Walk and a late Summer/early Fall one for the bike ride. Mom can't really show The Boy off at the Spring event yet as it's an inside affair and too crowded for The Boy to keep his cool, but he's gone to the Bike event for the last 2 years and been a great, big hit.
As friends and family crowded the yard of the house I grew up in The Boy charmed everyone with his smile and wore out Hubs with his energy. He also spent some time playing with a little girl who is a few months younger than him who happens to be his 3rd cousin? 2nd cousin once removed? What the heck is The Boy's relation to my cousin's kid?
It was a great afternoon and evening and I love the fact that The Boy will grow up learning from his grandma's example of philanthropy. Or civic duty? Again, I'm not really sure.
The best thing about going was that my dad's little brother, Mom's former brother in law, was down from the Bay Area. He was my absolute favorite uncle growing up - I've got lots of uncles - but he's only had the opportunity too meet The Boy once before, like a year ago. Here they are with my mom.
So relatives were seen, money was raised, wine was drunk and a good time was had by all.
As friends and family crowded the yard of the house I grew up in The Boy charmed everyone with his smile and wore out Hubs with his energy. He also spent some time playing with a little girl who is a few months younger than him who happens to be his 3rd cousin? 2nd cousin once removed? What the heck is The Boy's relation to my cousin's kid?
It was a great afternoon and evening and I love the fact that The Boy will grow up learning from his grandma's example of philanthropy. Or civic duty? Again, I'm not really sure.
The best thing about going was that my dad's little brother, Mom's former brother in law, was down from the Bay Area. He was my absolute favorite uncle growing up - I've got lots of uncles - but he's only had the opportunity too meet The Boy once before, like a year ago. Here they are with my mom.
So relatives were seen, money was raised, wine was drunk and a good time was had by all.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
This is Depressing
::Controversial opinion contained within - Writing whilst emotional::
Just yesterday I read Christina's lovely words about her fears for her Lovie's future. I commented and commiserated, but it wasn't until today that I read an article that really sums up my second to worst fear for the future - that holier than thou able bodied types will think my life not worth living. This article in my beloved Guardian Comment is Free has left me utterly dejected.
I am pro-choice and pro-everything else that gives someone control over their body, up to and including suicide, but the idea that people with no experience of disabilities would assume that the life of someone rendered motionless and mute by an accident or illness is, by default, not worth living scares the bejeezus out of me. That may be the case for some and I would not begrudge them the right to take their own life but, to me, my life is worth something. Even if, God forbid, I was made completely disabled by this shitty-ass disease that's constantly eating my myelin I cannot imagine not wanting to see my boy grow up, to watch him start school, to fall in love for the first time and everything else his childhood has in store for him. I also want to see what kind of person he'll become.
Maybe it's selfish of me to not expect my family to kill my crippled ass off when I become more of a burden than an asset, but there it is. I will make no apologies for loving Hubs and The Boy enough to want to stick around.
And Polly Toynbee can kiss my ass!
Just yesterday I read Christina's lovely words about her fears for her Lovie's future. I commented and commiserated, but it wasn't until today that I read an article that really sums up my second to worst fear for the future - that holier than thou able bodied types will think my life not worth living. This article in my beloved Guardian Comment is Free has left me utterly dejected.
I am pro-choice and pro-everything else that gives someone control over their body, up to and including suicide, but the idea that people with no experience of disabilities would assume that the life of someone rendered motionless and mute by an accident or illness is, by default, not worth living scares the bejeezus out of me. That may be the case for some and I would not begrudge them the right to take their own life but, to me, my life is worth something. Even if, God forbid, I was made completely disabled by this shitty-ass disease that's constantly eating my myelin I cannot imagine not wanting to see my boy grow up, to watch him start school, to fall in love for the first time and everything else his childhood has in store for him. I also want to see what kind of person he'll become.
Maybe it's selfish of me to not expect my family to kill my crippled ass off when I become more of a burden than an asset, but there it is. I will make no apologies for loving Hubs and The Boy enough to want to stick around.
And Polly Toynbee can kiss my ass!
Friday, September 2, 2011
I Am Capable of a Great Many Things
I read a quote by Annette Funicello yesterday. It was, "Life doesn't need to be perfect to be wonderful."
True words. And I'm not just saying that because she's been crippled by the same disease that cripples me, but because she's absolutely correct. Things happen, accidents occur and people get sick, but that doesn't mean we have to ignore all the beautiful, amazing and, yes, wonderful things in life. I mean, I've already been crippled physically by MS, should I let it cripple my psychologically, spiritually and emotionally as well? It's not like being pissed off and angry and living my life like I'm biding my time till there's a cure or I die and am reincarnated as a marathon-running octogenarian is gonna make anything better. It's just gonna waste what I have. And what I have is quite a lot.
I'll Start with The Hubs. He's awesome. We've known each other for 13 years and been together 12 and I still can't get over his awesomeness. Gorgeous, brilliant and funnier than he usually lets on, Hubs has always been amazingly tolerant of my neuroses, malaise and impusivity. He's also proven himself a saint in dealing with my disease. I really, really lucked out with him.
Then there's The Boy. I was never really a kid person before I met him. I held babies awkwardly and cringed when seated next to them on planes or in restaurants. I'd never changed a diaper or even looked after an infant for any amount of time before having him, so deciding to start a family - to bring him into our lives, was a gigantic leap of faith. And it paid off. He's beautiful, smart, sweet and funny. He's also everything a 2 year old is - grumpy, tempestuous and very, very active.
It's that last bit, the active bit, that is really starting to make me even more aware of my disability. He wants to run, I want to sit. He wants a piggy back ride, I want a cuddle. He wants to go for a walk, I have to remain in the back yard and send him out with Hubs.
As sad as that sounds, we're still incredibly lucky. I may not be able to run around with him or hold his hand on long walks, but I can stack blocks with him, roll round on the floor with him, create art with him, practice counting and ABC's with him and I can read to him. I will, in all seriousness, read a half a dozen books 20 times in one day, with all the passion and intensity of James Dean, Marlon Brando or the guy from Blues Clues. My kid can count to 10(minus the 9), say 20 or so letters of the alphabet, say "Please," "thank you," and "bless you" because of me. He's gentle with animals because I've taught him to be so.
So yeah, things may be far from perfect, but I will never be able to get over how wonderful our life is.
True words. And I'm not just saying that because she's been crippled by the same disease that cripples me, but because she's absolutely correct. Things happen, accidents occur and people get sick, but that doesn't mean we have to ignore all the beautiful, amazing and, yes, wonderful things in life. I mean, I've already been crippled physically by MS, should I let it cripple my psychologically, spiritually and emotionally as well? It's not like being pissed off and angry and living my life like I'm biding my time till there's a cure or I die and am reincarnated as a marathon-running octogenarian is gonna make anything better. It's just gonna waste what I have. And what I have is quite a lot.
I'll Start with The Hubs. He's awesome. We've known each other for 13 years and been together 12 and I still can't get over his awesomeness. Gorgeous, brilliant and funnier than he usually lets on, Hubs has always been amazingly tolerant of my neuroses, malaise and impusivity. He's also proven himself a saint in dealing with my disease. I really, really lucked out with him.
Then there's The Boy. I was never really a kid person before I met him. I held babies awkwardly and cringed when seated next to them on planes or in restaurants. I'd never changed a diaper or even looked after an infant for any amount of time before having him, so deciding to start a family - to bring him into our lives, was a gigantic leap of faith. And it paid off. He's beautiful, smart, sweet and funny. He's also everything a 2 year old is - grumpy, tempestuous and very, very active.
It's that last bit, the active bit, that is really starting to make me even more aware of my disability. He wants to run, I want to sit. He wants a piggy back ride, I want a cuddle. He wants to go for a walk, I have to remain in the back yard and send him out with Hubs.
As sad as that sounds, we're still incredibly lucky. I may not be able to run around with him or hold his hand on long walks, but I can stack blocks with him, roll round on the floor with him, create art with him, practice counting and ABC's with him and I can read to him. I will, in all seriousness, read a half a dozen books 20 times in one day, with all the passion and intensity of James Dean, Marlon Brando or the guy from Blues Clues. My kid can count to 10(minus the 9), say 20 or so letters of the alphabet, say "Please," "thank you," and "bless you" because of me. He's gentle with animals because I've taught him to be so.
So yeah, things may be far from perfect, but I will never be able to get over how wonderful our life is.
Friday, May 13, 2011
It's been a while since I've posted...
It's been even longer since I've posted piccies. In fact, the dearth of pics I have available to me make me realize how woefully slack I've been in taking pictures of my sweet boy. Boo. I must improve!
That said, here are 2 recent pictures taken of The Boy in all his beauteous splendor.
This first one is of The Boy, his mama and my mama. It's a rare pic of me in my gimp chariot, but as it was taken after our completion of the MS Walk I will allow such a pic to go out into the world. After all, how else am I to be expected to get through 5 kilometers without a car.
My mom's done the walk for a million years, but this is only the second year we've tagged along. Last year The Boy slept most of the way, but this year he was wide awake, walking with Hubs and catching rides with Grandma and I. So he earned his medal.
It was a good day, topped off by a big breakfast afterward.
That said, here are 2 recent pictures taken of The Boy in all his beauteous splendor.
This first one is of The Boy, his mama and my mama. It's a rare pic of me in my gimp chariot, but as it was taken after our completion of the MS Walk I will allow such a pic to go out into the world. After all, how else am I to be expected to get through 5 kilometers without a car.
My mom's done the walk for a million years, but this is only the second year we've tagged along. Last year The Boy slept most of the way, but this year he was wide awake, walking with Hubs and catching rides with Grandma and I. So he earned his medal.
It was a good day, topped off by a big breakfast afterward.
Friday, April 22, 2011
And this is why MS sucks
I read THIS article by Perez Hilton today. It's all about Hef using a scooter to get around Disneyland. Do I feel bad knowing that The Boy's first trip to Disneyland will see me scooting around like a 90 year old? Yup. Does the fact that he's a bajillionaire and was flanked by scooting bunnies make me feel any better? Nope.
Crap!
Now if I could lose some weight and maybe look more like a bunny... that might make the scooter more palatable.
Crap!
Now if I could lose some weight and maybe look more like a bunny... that might make the scooter more palatable.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I hurt
Not in the emotional, "my heart hurts" sort of way, but in the, "my whole body aches" sort of way. One week into taking my "disease modifying" injection of goodness thrice weekly and the flu-like symptoms it promises to yield are kicking my butt. Giving myself the shots has come fairly easily, but my muscles feel pummeled and my skin feels like it's on fire.
During the many, many years that I took my meds in the past I was occasionally beat down by these God-awful side effects, but only every once in a while and never when I was in charge of caring for the walking, talking sweetness that is The Boy.
So crap. I'll sit here and say it's all worth it if further disability is staved off, but really I'll be wanting to curl up under a blanket and eat cookie dough. In lieu of that - I am busy, after all - I think I'll take the golden opportunity afforded by The Boy's nap time to have a quick cup of tea and read the news before cleaning up from the hurricane that seems to have swept through my living room.
During the many, many years that I took my meds in the past I was occasionally beat down by these God-awful side effects, but only every once in a while and never when I was in charge of caring for the walking, talking sweetness that is The Boy.
So crap. I'll sit here and say it's all worth it if further disability is staved off, but really I'll be wanting to curl up under a blanket and eat cookie dough. In lieu of that - I am busy, after all - I think I'll take the golden opportunity afforded by The Boy's nap time to have a quick cup of tea and read the news before cleaning up from the hurricane that seems to have swept through my living room.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Two and A Half Years
At the beginning of August 2008 I went off my "disease modifying drug" to prepare my body to make a baby.
Two and a half years later I've got this to show for my efforts.
Last night I sucked it up and gave myself a shot for the first time since trying to conceive, being pregnant, giving birth to and becoming a mother to my sweet, sweet boy.
I'm a bit sore today(stupid "flu-like symptoms,") and The Boy is going through an awesome kicking whilst having his diaper changed and refusing to nap without "bop" phase, but all-in-all I'd have too say I'm pretty proud of us.
I hope everyone else is being at least moderately successful with their resolutions.
::The Not a Hipster Dictionary says that "bop" is Boy for nursing::
Two and a half years later I've got this to show for my efforts.
Last night I sucked it up and gave myself a shot for the first time since trying to conceive, being pregnant, giving birth to and becoming a mother to my sweet, sweet boy.
I'm a bit sore today(stupid "flu-like symptoms,") and The Boy is going through an awesome kicking whilst having his diaper changed and refusing to nap without "bop" phase, but all-in-all I'd have too say I'm pretty proud of us.
I hope everyone else is being at least moderately successful with their resolutions.
::The Not a Hipster Dictionary says that "bop" is Boy for nursing::
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
New year, new me!
So I finished up '10 with several days of a steroid infusion and the promise of going back on a disease modifying drug to stave off my further deterioration from MS. The good news is that the steroids must have reduced some of the de-myelinating, MS-bringing inflammation because my symptoms have improved. That means I am still relapsing-remitting. Woohoo!!! The bad news is that I have to go back to giving myself shots thrice weekly. Crappity crap!
But so all that means that I'm finally looking after my disease activity - that's resolution number 1.
I have also resolved to read more - so far so good.
Exercise, eat better and lose some weight - so far I've only been successful with eating better, but that's a start, right?
But so all that means that I'm finally looking after my disease activity - that's resolution number 1.
I have also resolved to read more - so far so good.
Exercise, eat better and lose some weight - so far I've only been successful with eating better, but that's a start, right?
Monday, October 11, 2010
Please forgive me while I waste some time on the pity pot
We went to a first birthday party yesterday, The Boy, Hubs and I.
It was lovely. It was in a train museum in a park, my friend and her husband did a fantastic job getting everything ready for their little boy and my little boy had an awesome time running around and playing in the dirt.
All of my friend's friends were sweet and I got to see some folks I haven't seen in years.
It should have been a perfect day out, were it not for the fact that I was the creepy chick who sat glued to a park bench instead of the fabulously witty and social girl I'd like to be.
Everybody loved The Boy but seemed slightly bemused when they found out he belonged to me.
I took my scooter because I was worried about how far into the park the party might be, and some of the older kids(belonging to an old friend) asked 1st) if I could walk and 2nd) if they could ride my scooter. They were polite about it, and I could console myself with the thought that I didn't actually need the stupid thing, but I was still mortified.
Both situations - the isolation on the park bench and examination of my gimpy chariot - could have been avoided if I'd stayed in my scooter and moved about like a social butterfly in it, but I'm stubborn and have yet to come to terms with the fact that, on a hot day like yesterday, I'm usually incapable of comfortably standing around whilst having a chat.
So, crappity crap! It's all my fault! I'm imperfect, but I'm working on it. If I can't be the fabulously witty girl flitting about on foot, then I'll be the fabulously witty girl flitting about on wheels.
It was lovely. It was in a train museum in a park, my friend and her husband did a fantastic job getting everything ready for their little boy and my little boy had an awesome time running around and playing in the dirt.
All of my friend's friends were sweet and I got to see some folks I haven't seen in years.
It should have been a perfect day out, were it not for the fact that I was the creepy chick who sat glued to a park bench instead of the fabulously witty and social girl I'd like to be.
Everybody loved The Boy but seemed slightly bemused when they found out he belonged to me.
I took my scooter because I was worried about how far into the park the party might be, and some of the older kids(belonging to an old friend) asked 1st) if I could walk and 2nd) if they could ride my scooter. They were polite about it, and I could console myself with the thought that I didn't actually need the stupid thing, but I was still mortified.
Both situations - the isolation on the park bench and examination of my gimpy chariot - could have been avoided if I'd stayed in my scooter and moved about like a social butterfly in it, but I'm stubborn and have yet to come to terms with the fact that, on a hot day like yesterday, I'm usually incapable of comfortably standing around whilst having a chat.
So, crappity crap! It's all my fault! I'm imperfect, but I'm working on it. If I can't be the fabulously witty girl flitting about on foot, then I'll be the fabulously witty girl flitting about on wheels.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Being a Mom With MS
Last week's bout of stomach flu made me realize many things; that Hubs does get sick sometimes; that I can, with great difficulty, look after The Boy even when suffering from a nasty MS relapse(fever is the devil for folks with MS); that the awesomeness of In N Out is not so awesome as to be able to withstand the stomach flu.
Mostly it made me realize, or come to terms with - I'd long ago realized - that no matter how hard I try or how much I wish, I am not like other mothers nor will I ever be. I am a doting, motivated devoted mom, but I am sick. Chronically sick, and my heart absolutely breaks thinking about it.
I will never get to walk through the park hand in hand with my son, teach him how to ride a bike or do any of the other things I mentioned in this post and that sucks more than anything else has ever sucked! Ever!!!
I just really felt like getting that out there. So now I can move on from debating the merits of getting a maid or a "mother's helper"(I decided against them) or using a harness for walks if I'm in my scooter(I got one, but haven't used it yet as he's still relatively fond of his stroller), to figuring out the ideal time to get an adapted van.
Oh well, I guess I'd be looking at mini vans in a few years anyway.
Mostly it made me realize, or come to terms with - I'd long ago realized - that no matter how hard I try or how much I wish, I am not like other mothers nor will I ever be. I am a doting, motivated devoted mom, but I am sick. Chronically sick, and my heart absolutely breaks thinking about it.
I will never get to walk through the park hand in hand with my son, teach him how to ride a bike or do any of the other things I mentioned in this post and that sucks more than anything else has ever sucked! Ever!!!
I just really felt like getting that out there. So now I can move on from debating the merits of getting a maid or a "mother's helper"(I decided against them) or using a harness for walks if I'm in my scooter(I got one, but haven't used it yet as he's still relatively fond of his stroller), to figuring out the ideal time to get an adapted van.
Oh well, I guess I'd be looking at mini vans in a few years anyway.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Thinking about food
This post at The Heir To Blair reminded me of my own food issues.
What little weight I gained during pregnancy fell off quite quickly, but then eating to make Boy food and far too much inactivity means that I've been gaining again; not weight so much as fat. I still weigh less than I did before I got pregnant, but my once tiny waist as become an unsightly spare tire.
Boo.
In addition to that, I've been contemplating starting a more MS friendly diet. Sadly, the MS diet requires one to cut out fat(all fat, not just butter, cheese and ice cream, but olive oil too!), red meat, legumes and pretty much everything good and tasty in the world.
So therein lies my trepidation. I'm sure following a MS diet would help with my spare tire, it might even help relieve some of my symptoms, but is that all really worth it if it means I have to give up all of my favorite foods?
What to do? What to do?
What little weight I gained during pregnancy fell off quite quickly, but then eating to make Boy food and far too much inactivity means that I've been gaining again; not weight so much as fat. I still weigh less than I did before I got pregnant, but my once tiny waist as become an unsightly spare tire.
Boo.
In addition to that, I've been contemplating starting a more MS friendly diet. Sadly, the MS diet requires one to cut out fat(all fat, not just butter, cheese and ice cream, but olive oil too!), red meat, legumes and pretty much everything good and tasty in the world.
So therein lies my trepidation. I'm sure following a MS diet would help with my spare tire, it might even help relieve some of my symptoms, but is that all really worth it if it means I have to give up all of my favorite foods?
What to do? What to do?
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
First Trip to the Beach: A Short Picture Story
It was a hot one, a real hot one, but we managed to get out and enjoy ourselves over the long weekend.
On Saturday we visited some friends at the beach, giving The Boy his first taste of sand and surf. I wasn't really sure what to expect, and was nervous about having to stay behind at a nearby cafe(stupid MS), but it was important that The Boy have his first visit to the ocean and to let the sand tickle his toes. He is, after all, a Californian.
Here he is with his dad as they approach the beach. It doesn't look so bad from afar.
My best friend, great water and beach lover that he is, took him from Hubs to give The Boy his salty baptism. It didn't go so well.
Unable to be convinced to take a dip, The Boy returned to Hubs and the enjoyed a nice walk in the sand.
After that my boys returned to me happy, slightly sandy and covered in sunscreen(I can be a bit heavy handed with the stuff). I'm so proud of my brave boy!
On Saturday we visited some friends at the beach, giving The Boy his first taste of sand and surf. I wasn't really sure what to expect, and was nervous about having to stay behind at a nearby cafe(stupid MS), but it was important that The Boy have his first visit to the ocean and to let the sand tickle his toes. He is, after all, a Californian.
Here he is with his dad as they approach the beach. It doesn't look so bad from afar.
My best friend, great water and beach lover that he is, took him from Hubs to give The Boy his salty baptism. It didn't go so well.
Unable to be convinced to take a dip, The Boy returned to Hubs and the enjoyed a nice walk in the sand.
After that my boys returned to me happy, slightly sandy and covered in sunscreen(I can be a bit heavy handed with the stuff). I'm so proud of my brave boy!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Walkie Wednesday
I’ve decided pay weekly homage to my old favorite pastime: walking. Sounds silly and facile, but I used to luuurrrve walking back in the day. And now, though I may not be so good at the walking anymore(but I can still walk, for those of you that are wondering), it’s definitely become one of The Boy’s favorite things to do.
Yup, walking’s a big deal in our household, so welcome to Walkie Wednesday.
I’m currently in the throes of desperately wanting to plan The Boy’s first trip to Europe, so I’ll begin with a bit of nostalgia by writing about walking in Europe; Prague, to be specific.
A million years ago, when Prague was still part of Czechoslovakia and not part of the Czech Republic, long before Hubs and The Boy were even a glimmer in my eye, I packed a flimsy backpack and took my teenage self to Prague.
This particular walk started in Old Town Square, the gorgeous geographical center of Prague. It was July so it was warm, and I left Old Town Square after dinner and set out on Karlova Street, which extends in a west-ish squiggle from the Square.
The cobblestones were fairly uneven, making for many spills and tumbles when I walked the route a few years later between my job – at a bar – and my best friend’s job – also at a bar. But even in my sober state that last night of my first trip, the cobbles were still a tricky endeavor.
The sun was setting as I wound my way down Karlova Street, filled even then with trinket vendors and tourist wares housed in Baroque buildings. It was awesome and romantic and everything my suburban hometown was not.
And then I crossed Smetanovo Street and ended up on Charles Bridge. Looming ahead of me, atop the big hill in Malastrana(Lesser Town), was Prague Castle, with St. Vitus Cathedral hugging it tightly. The whole thing was lit up perfectly, like the icing on an immaculate cupcake.
I’m not fudging the truth at all by saying that it brought tears to my eyes, or that my life was completely altered by that walk and THAT view.
Hubs has visited Prague with me a few times and remains moderately impressed, but I cannot wait to take The Boy! By the time we take him I’m sure he’ll have grown tired of my stories about backpacking around Europe and living all over the place, but I will still be super excited to show him, in person, some of the life I lived before he and his dad came into my life, and before MS got the better of my walking ability.
As awesome as our day-to-day life may be, I can’t believe how much we have to look forward to. And that walk from Old Town Square to Charles Bridge is at the top of the list.
(Once I get a scanner I'll upload some pics of me and That View
Yup, walking’s a big deal in our household, so welcome to Walkie Wednesday.
I’m currently in the throes of desperately wanting to plan The Boy’s first trip to Europe, so I’ll begin with a bit of nostalgia by writing about walking in Europe; Prague, to be specific.
A million years ago, when Prague was still part of Czechoslovakia and not part of the Czech Republic, long before Hubs and The Boy were even a glimmer in my eye, I packed a flimsy backpack and took my teenage self to Prague.
This particular walk started in Old Town Square, the gorgeous geographical center of Prague. It was July so it was warm, and I left Old Town Square after dinner and set out on Karlova Street, which extends in a west-ish squiggle from the Square.
The cobblestones were fairly uneven, making for many spills and tumbles when I walked the route a few years later between my job – at a bar – and my best friend’s job – also at a bar. But even in my sober state that last night of my first trip, the cobbles were still a tricky endeavor.
The sun was setting as I wound my way down Karlova Street, filled even then with trinket vendors and tourist wares housed in Baroque buildings. It was awesome and romantic and everything my suburban hometown was not.
And then I crossed Smetanovo Street and ended up on Charles Bridge. Looming ahead of me, atop the big hill in Malastrana(Lesser Town), was Prague Castle, with St. Vitus Cathedral hugging it tightly. The whole thing was lit up perfectly, like the icing on an immaculate cupcake.
I’m not fudging the truth at all by saying that it brought tears to my eyes, or that my life was completely altered by that walk and THAT view.
Hubs has visited Prague with me a few times and remains moderately impressed, but I cannot wait to take The Boy! By the time we take him I’m sure he’ll have grown tired of my stories about backpacking around Europe and living all over the place, but I will still be super excited to show him, in person, some of the life I lived before he and his dad came into my life, and before MS got the better of my walking ability.
As awesome as our day-to-day life may be, I can’t believe how much we have to look forward to. And that walk from Old Town Square to Charles Bridge is at the top of the list.
(Once I get a scanner I'll upload some pics of me and That View
Monday, August 30, 2010
Playdate-tastic!
We don’t get out that much and are rarely around other kids, save for The Boy’s weekly Gymboree class, but this weekend we had a play date with a nineteen month old.
It went much better than expected. They played outside and The Boy got dirtier than he’s been since the poop-in-his-nose incident at birth. He ate a muffin, fell into a bush and had his first argument over sharing a toy car.
It did my heart an enormous amount of good to know that he can communicate with other kids, that our MS-related semi-seclusion doesn’t mean that he can’t keep up with day care-raised social butterflies when he does get to spend time with other kids. The Boy didn’t freak out and come running to me or to Hubs when the older kid bounded into our house and grabbed all of his toys. I’m so glad that he held his own against an older kid whose favorite word appears to be “mine!”
Yup, yesterday was everything I imagined it should be. Lots of giggles and squeals, lots of dirt and destruction, and tears of exhaustion followed by a nice, long nap at the end of it all.
It went much better than expected. They played outside and The Boy got dirtier than he’s been since the poop-in-his-nose incident at birth. He ate a muffin, fell into a bush and had his first argument over sharing a toy car.
It did my heart an enormous amount of good to know that he can communicate with other kids, that our MS-related semi-seclusion doesn’t mean that he can’t keep up with day care-raised social butterflies when he does get to spend time with other kids. The Boy didn’t freak out and come running to me or to Hubs when the older kid bounded into our house and grabbed all of his toys. I’m so glad that he held his own against an older kid whose favorite word appears to be “mine!”
Yup, yesterday was everything I imagined it should be. Lots of giggles and squeals, lots of dirt and destruction, and tears of exhaustion followed by a nice, long nap at the end of it all.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Pins and needles in my arm
I have Multiple Sclerosis, a degenerative disease that strips my nerves of their myelin sheath and my life of the kind of fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants get-up-and-go that used to define me. I was diagnosed more than seven years ago now. I was living in the London at the time with the love of my life. Since then I moved to Canada, then back to my native Southern California, I married my aforementioned love and I gave birth to the coolest baby ever.
Not bad for a gimp.
Like I think I heard them say on some hideous reality show, I can(still) do what everyone else does, I just do it slightly differently.
Like this morning, for example. My baby, angry from the molars growing in his mouth, awoke at 7 30. I nursed him, ate my Mini-Wheats while giving him some Joe’s O’s(Cheerios for Trader Joe’s lovers), took a shower then had Hubs(who works from home) help us downstairs to the car.
Boy and I then met my dad for coffee. Dad moved Boy from the car seat to his stroller. I can do that, but even my 70 year old dad can get it done quicker than me.
We do all the same stuff in reverse, ending up planted in our living room where I’m left to look after Boy until Hubs finishing work – usually around 7 pm.
Depending on how pissed off my disease is on any particular day, I find keeping up with Boy fluctuates. I loved when he started crawling and I could trick him into coming to me instead of wobbly picking Boy up and killing my back in the process. There are days when I’m too tired to move the chairs that form our baby barricade to the table for lunch time, so I feed him free-range style. It’s messy, but nothing a ton of tea towels and some slipcovers can’t handle.
We have to deal with all the normal stuff of life a bit differently, but the final product remains pretty much the same.
Take the smash cake at Boy's 1st birthday party, the end result of which can be seen above. Good times.
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